Today was not great. Not atrocious, just not great. Too much entered myself today. the numbers were too high and this sickly feeling of full is left with me. But i was under prying eyes the whole day and i could not escape, I could not control the beast once it had started.
But still, even salads are evil. It is all evil.
I want to curl up and never see light, never see food, never see anyone.
Im tired of the prying questions and the strange looks.
IT took me an hour to get ready fpr work today. I realized that none of my jeans fit me anymore, They all hang off of me.
This should make me happy, but I dont have the money to buy new clothes.
I dont have the money for anything.
Only cigarettes and Wine. My two vices that will always stay empty in my mind.
I can drink and smoke till i pass out.
THough it is tough during the week.
But my weekends are wrecked by heaving chests and the smell of stale Wine in the morning.
It keeps me going.
Just one day at a time.
And that way, I don't have to think of Him, and how he is going to leave me.
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