Thursday, 11 April 2013

When it Rains, it Pours

Sorry about my silence
Its been...
a bumpy ride I do guess.
The Vegan Thing was a very enlightening experience.
Although it was a little pricey,
not something i can afford right now.

I lost my job. Rather I quit for a better one which never pulled through.
so thats been fun, as from the end of the month
god knows what is going to happen.
I have been looking around desperately.
Looks like I might have to waitress, or something partime to just pay rent.
so i will probably be even more quiet my lovelies

But i am still here.
pounding on.

And my man is leaving me.
In the eye of the shit storm that has hit,
he has been offered a job on the other side of the country.
and i dont do long distance.
It really is a great opportunity,
A lot more money
A bigger city
more experiences.
I have been telling him he needs to get out of here,

I just thought maybe, somewhere in my illusive little fairy tale
I thought maybe we would get out together.
I was going to ask him to move in with me at the end of the year
take the next step
I have never even considered that with any other man
Its not that he is more serious,
Its just that I can actually stand him for more than a week at a time
and i like him
and its relaxed
and i like that
and my skin still tingles when he brushes past me.

My friend says that i am being dramatic
That if i was offered something, I wouldnt even consider him
I dont somehow think that is the case
and coming from her,
who wrote poetry and cried for weeks when her boyfriend of 1 month left for a town 20 minutes away.

My heart feels heavy
i want the best for him.
And if the best is somewhere else,
then i will sit here quietly, with my heart in my throat.
I will keep on smiling
Being happy for him.
because I guess that's what you do for the people you love.