Monday 5 March 2012

Sleeplessness

I'm not entirely sure what happened this weekend. It kind of flew by in a whirlwind of motion. Saturday night we decided to have a girls night out, because He was having some get together at His place that we were originally supposed to go to.
So we thought fuck-it and lets drink..
I Have chopped all of my hair off, about 4 days ago, a huge feat and a really refreshing one too. I love it. My hair used to be down to my ass. Now I can barely run my fingers through it.
So we dressed up to the nines. I wore this hot dress, heels and smokey make up. I'm not a heels and make up kind of gal. tonight i though lets go for it. New hair. New life.
We got out and i looked and felt hot. everyone was staring, obviously because i was hairless. They kept saying how great it looked, and how happy and refreshed i looked.
The dress also showed off my my hard earned bones, which i usually try hard to cover up to stop needless questions.
I bumped into an old friend of mine, one that i had a fling with a couple of years ago, nothing serious, we just had fun and stayed friends. the first thing he said was how much weight i had lost, and how gorgeous i looked. I felt elated, even more so that he seemed concerned about the amount of weight lost.
It sounds so stupid. But it felt like for the first time, in all this motion of crap, my hard work was starting to pay off.
and it felt good.
so we drank, and drank, and danced. now i can't and don't usually dance. and now i remember why. I even got this friend of mine to dance with me, and he REALLY doesn't dance. but there we were. basically ballroom dancing in a night club. and it was so much fun.
I've forgotten what it feels like to go out and let loose.
i used to be crazy, and spontaneous. Not anxious and... this.
We all ended back at my place at about 7am. and then it happened, he kissed me.
It was just a kiss, and i was drunk and giddy at the time.
but its still odd.
I spoke to him about it later, and then he asked me if we are going to have "the talk". I'm like whoa. I'm barely even broken up "Him". I am not going into anything. at all. He said he understood. but then still asked me on a date.
Men.
I told him i need to sort all my shit out first, and then maybe I'll get back to him. Either way, he's still my friend.
On the bright side of the drama spectrum.
I feel better than I have in weeks.
Well not yesterday.
Yesterday I was hungover as all hell.

1 comment:

  1. sounds like fun :) yay for freedom and new beginnings <3 xx

    ReplyDelete

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