Saturday 8 September 2012

Biological Wreck

The past two days i have been severely, unexplainably emotional
and agressive
and sensitive.
I burst into tears over some little agreement I had with a friend
and when my man told me he had to leave town for a few days for work
I cried some more
I could not explain it
other than finally turning the bend
And then i started my period today. which makes everything clearer
The binging, the tears, the unexplained anger

Because I am not generally an angry person, psychotic maybe
but not angry and agressive
and it just bothered me that everyone was getting under my skin.
Sometimes i question the design of the female system

I feel like a blimp, like I am a mass wading through the universe
My mum commented on my weight the other day and said that i am losing too much,
but i know I have gained
I can feel it
and I haven't actually weighed myself in a couple of days because I am trying to tone down the obsessive weighing I do every day
It has become my ritual
So I am limiting myself to every three days
at least then I will also know if the numbers are being more accurate or not.

Sigh
I feel so sick

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there Alice,

    I know it might not seem like it but things will get better, they have to, for me and you

    Sending you hope, faith and a hug x

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  2. i know that things will get better for you... because you are such a strong person. and i can only wish to have your strength

    Thank you for being such a great friend to me, your words of comfort and wisdom keep me going.

    I only hope to be able to be on the road to recovery like you are... even though it may not seem like it sometimes, but you really are doing so well, and working so hard. I am so proud

    xxx

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