I Am

I am a little speck on the outskirts of the world
I am a freckle on a giant
I am Mary's unwavering desire to die

I am self indulgent, paranoid and narcissistic.
and crazy
and scared

I have no desire to improve or better myself
I am stuck in a timeless loop
I am grey
Drizzled in dull.

I am sick
in body and mind
and there is no cure for my particular breed of insane.

I am a freckle on a giant
drowning my sorrows
In addictions
and failure

I cannot be saved
or improved
or bettered

stuck in this void
I am desolate
left with empty words on a flickering screen

I am a grain of sand within the desert
I am not special or particular
another case
and I still can't cure