Negligence

I have been neglecting all of this and everything for too long now.
I'm not even sure how long I have been out of the loop now.
But I am so, so sorry I have been so quiet.

So I have been terribly sick, booked off work, lying in bed, unable to move and all that nonsense.
Turns out I have a Kidney infection.
Funny how these things happen when you abuse your body.
But I have been man down, quite literally, for a week now.

breathing, never mind smoking hurt so much I wanted to rip my own hair out.

On the bright side of my little wagon,
I spent last weekend with a few friends and my man (that still does not sound right).
I was abit nervous at first because I knew I would have to uphold some sort of normal eating habit around them. But it turned out that we were so wasted the entire weekend that nobody even noticed to miniscule amount that I ate.
I was listening to a conversation my friends were having, and now they have a little more meat on their bodies, which is fine with me. they carry it. they are beautiful. they are comfortable.
I wish I could feel like that if I looked like that. But anyway,
One of them, made a blindsided comment about how ALL women should have meat and curves
Because you know, only dogs like bones.
I just kept quiet, i do not like getting involved in these kind of conversations.
All I hear is my man, from the other side of the room, shouting "hey!".
That made me smile a little.

But there was a similar instance the other night when a bunch of us made dinner together,
when I dished up for myself, I had comments thrown at the amount of food on my plate.
So I said out straight, would you prefer it if I dished up more and wasted the entire lot?
Then I made them all desert, and I served it to them, but i didnt give myself any.
They know that I dont eat desert, I never have.
And the one friend makes an observation, "why are you not eating desert.
are you scared that you will get fat?
too late."

I knew It was in jest.
I knew He was just trying to get some kind of reaction out of me
but they must learn to stay the fuck out of my business.
if the person that I am dating/not dating can manage to suck it up and not comment on it
or ask me about
or ostracize me
Then why do the rest feel the need to.